and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
