dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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