fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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