That's when you crack a 10am beer
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
