Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
