would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
