My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
