im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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