what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
