Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
