dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
