ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
