I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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