I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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