So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
