what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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