I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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