then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
