Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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