Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
