just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
