it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize