how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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