He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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