Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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