Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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