Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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