IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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