just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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