I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
