God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
