the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
