New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
