someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
