We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
