I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
