I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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