it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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