haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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