I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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