Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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