I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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