I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
