I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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