you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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