yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
