9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
