dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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