No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
