I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the liver wants what the liver wants
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize