i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think my moral compass just broke
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