We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
