just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize