Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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