He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
