why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize