You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think i have two assholes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
