He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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