FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
