I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
