SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
